So -- against your better judgement, you've decided to touch base with us. Excellent. Here's everything you ever needed to know in order to get hold of us.

And if you decide to come visiting, there are some important things to remember:

• Beware of the dogs. Honest. One of them is the second largest mammal here. And he's hungry.
• Bring your own beer. And it's always nice if you pick some up for us.
• Callers before a reasonable hour run the risk of having their hair parted for them, possibly with an axe. It should be noted that reasonable hours are flexible and equally dependent on the number of sunspots, height of women's hemlines, whether or not you're serving a summons, or just how we feel at the moment. And whether you brought beer, breakfast, or both.
• There is a specific and rather exorbitant surcharge for wanting to come by and hover over us while we work on your project.